Scene: Darkness. A savannah, perhaps - hints of an oasis, some African-looking trees ominously framing the background.
Music: Scary. Very scary.
Suddenly - a flash of a snout. A glint of an eye. The cold, cold glint of steel.
Then, the voice-over begins.
"Aardvarks. You know they are out there. They look like little kids in bunny suits, but inside they are cold-blooded killers."
Flash image of a frightening aardvark about to eat a kid in a bunny suit.
"They EAT kids in bunny suits."
Flash image of adorable kid in a bunny suit.
Silence as the viewer falls in love with the kid in the bunny suit.
And then... the aardvarks pounce and rip the kid to shreds, obscured by darkness... all you see is one soft, pink, torn bunny ear floating off into the night.
Cut to a flurry of newspaper headlines and images of Cerebus the Aardvark artwork.
Voice: "But George Bush thinks aardvarks are funny."
Flash image of Bush laughing out loud while reading Cerebus #44 (the wuffa wuffa issue).
Voice: "George Bush bought copies of comic books about aardvarks Three Hundred Times."
Images of three hundred issues of Cerebus fluttering past.
Voice: "George Bush thought that the last 50 issues of Cerebus made a lot of sense."
Image: A few full text pages from "Latter Days"
Image: Really scary aardvarks, extreme close up.
Voice: "Can America risk it?"
Final Image: John Kerry hugging a happy kid in a bunny suit.
PS - I agree with Josh Marshall. The "Wolves" ad made me laugh out loud... and actually made me feel better than I have for a while. Is this all they've got? Oh, and I also agree with everyone who wonders where Bush will show up tomorrow - my money is on Kabul. Will Osama be there too?
terrifying.
Posted by: praktike | October 22, 2004 at 02:38 PM
Kabul?
I think Bush is simply going to Texas; he took the last Sunday off before the '00 election (though he did partake in a video conference). He then went to California -- it was all part of the "look like it's a landslide" strategy.
I linked the CNN story from 2000 yesterday in comments on both TalkLeft and Digby.
Posted by: Rodger | October 22, 2004 at 04:24 PM
Some sources are now saying that the Texas visit has been scrubbed, and he'll be down in Florida.
Posted by: Geoduck | October 22, 2004 at 06:08 PM
Darn it, I never should have included the October Surprise part in that postscript - nobody's commenting on my incredibly funny "Wolves" spoof!
Posted by: the aardvark | October 22, 2004 at 06:55 PM
I laughed out loud when I scrolled down to the kid in the bunny suit. Good stuff.
Posted by: E-mart | October 22, 2004 at 09:20 PM
I'm pretty sure I heard Keith Olbermann say on Friday night that Ralph Nader would be releasing his "aardvark" commercial today.
Is he a reader?
Posted by: Rodger | October 23, 2004 at 05:37 PM